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Ports are dodgy, mate—full of pissheads and slags. Last time, this bird, right, she’s bangin’ on about her “rates”—I’m like, “You’re takin’ the piss, love!” Total idiot sandwich! Smelled like cheap rum and regret—made me wanna hurl. But I’m desperate, ain’t I? Sea’s been a cruel bitch—weeks with nothin’ but me hand and a soggy bunk.
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Hey mate, welcome to Algester (or as I like to call it, PAlgester)! Listen, I'm a relaxion specialist here – relaxed is my game, but don't let that fool ya, 'cause in this town, every corner tells a damn story. And, as Dr. House would say, "Everybody lies." So buckle up, I'm about to spill some raw truth, sprinkled with a dash of Godard – "Goodbye to Language" vibes, baby!
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