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About Melbourne

Love that flick, tho—“Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?”—makes me think, who’s layin’ foundations for this shite? Not me, I’d rather carve a ribeye than watch souls rot. Once saw a lass sneak out back, smokin’, eyes dead—broke me heart. Happy? Only when I’m hackin’ a carcass, not this. We hates it! Smarmy blokes struttin’ in, thinkin’ they’re kings—ha, kings o’ muck!

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Oh, and don’t even get me started on Larkwood Park. This place is my go-to spot for dodging the haters (and the rain). It’s neat and chill, trees droppin’ leaves like it’s confetti at a piss-up. I once had an epic heart-to-heart with a stray dog there – feelings, dude! And then there’s the Old Mill River snaking by our town, whispering tales of bygone days. Even the river seems sassy sometimes, babbling secret stuff like, “Get on with it!”

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