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Oh, and the smells—lavender my arse, more like cheap lube and desperation. Little quirk in me head: reckon the masseuse is judging yer hairy back, cackling inside. Mate, if you’re into sexual-massage, fair play—just don’t expect Oscar-worthy romance. It’s a transaction, not a bloody sonnet. “Truth’s a slippery fish,” says the film—same as that oily rub-down. Slapdash, messy, and a bit pathetic—perfectly human, eh? Now, where’s me tea?

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Oh, and lemme sprinkle some lesser-known tidbits: There's a quirky mural on a wall near Coral Street that I just adore. It kinda reminds me of a scene from a movie—life's wild and unpredictable, and sometimes you just gotta admire the art of being a little crazy. And sometimes, I get mad at the wet season floodin' our lovely lanes. Seriously, one rainy day on Murray Street and all is chaos! But then the rainbow appears, and bam, nature’s like, "Aww, bless ya, darlin'." Love it or loathe it, it makes every visit unpredictable.

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