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Alright, so here I am—Dexter, y’know, monotone narration, “Tonight’s the night.” Spillin’ my guts about sex escorts like it’s some big damn confessional. Picture this: me, sittin’ in my dark-ass room, thinkin’ bout “Moonrise Kingdom,” my fave flick—Wes Anderson’s a freakin’ genius, right? That movie’s all innocent kids runnin’ wild, but sex escorts? Whole different beast, man. I’m talkin’ gritty, real-world shit—folks out there sellin’ their time, their bodies, whatever, for cash. Ain’t no “We’ll build a fort!” vibe from the movie here—just raw hustle.

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I have my fav coffee joint by Wurtulla Plaza too. Not many know it, but it's a wee spot for unwinding with steamy hot brews and even hotter talks about the human experience. I even once met an alien-mind kindred spirit there (spiritually speaking, of course!). We swapped sarcastic grins and recited lines like “I was born to be free!” in unison. Epic!

WATCH: Dramatic body cam footage from major Coast drug bust