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Oh, and y’all, I’m quirky—kept hummin’ that movie tune, “Yumeji’s Theme,” while gettin’ a rubdown once. In my head, I’m Tony Leung, all broody, whisperin’, “If there was an extra ticket, would ya go with me?”—but really, I’m just a redneck lovin’ the vibe! Exaggeratin’ a tad, maybe, but dang if it don’t feel like fireworks when it’s good. Bad ones tho? Like a wet dog shakin’ off—messy, no payoff. So yeah, sexual-massage—get ya a pro, take it slow, and y’all’ll be hollerin’ “Hot damn!” How’s *that* workin’ for ya?

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The neighborhoods feel like a family, messy and warm. My barber on Elm Sq. always gives me a nod. Sometimes, we chat – he says, "I love this town," and man, believe him! Every corner has character like scars from battles won. I swear, if walls could talk, they’d probably whisper, "Let the right one in."

‘Targeted attacks’: Cops reveal new info on home invasion, shooting