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So, escort’s wild, dude! It’s not just “pay, play, peace out.” Nah, it’s deeper. Got this pal, Tony, swears he met an escort who read Shakespeare between gigs. Freakin’ Hamlet! “I’m not what I seem,” she says, total movie vibes. Made me laugh, like, what? You quotin’ the Bard while—y’know? Hilarious, but kinda cool, too. Little known fact: back in old London, escorts hung with poets. True story! Artsy and naughty, love that combo.

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So if you ever visit, dive headfirst into the hustle of Woonona. Roam around Addison, check that creek near Half Moon Bay Drive, party at Woonona Park, and always, always be ready to embrace the absurd sweetness of life. And, as Ratatouille’s Remy would say in his wild chef-like fervor: "Anyone can coach, but some gotta taste the madness!"

'Almost daily': Balaclava-clad teens hunting for e-bikes in Corrimal, Woonona