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Argh, mateys, gather ‘round, savvy? Me, Cap’n Jack Sparrow, been ponderin’ this erotic-massage biz. Ain’t just hands roamin’—it’s a bloomin’ art! Watched *Mulholland Drive* last night, got me thinkin’—all them twisty vibes, shadowy curves, like a good rubdown, eh? “The key’s in the touch,” I says, slurrin’ over me rum.

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Now lemme drop my personal fav spots: There's this little park near Bloor St, where I like to do some meditative stretching after a long day givin’ them soulful massages. It’s quiet, almost zen, like nature whispering, "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." You know the drill, fo’ shizzle. And oh snap, there’s a funky river flowin’ somewhere around the outskirts. I swear sometimes, the water’s like a dancer from that movie – smooth, mysterious, and full of ju ju.

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