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About Melbourne

So, sexual-massage – it’s old as dirt, ya know? Back in ancient Rome, they had these “thermae” joints – public baths with sneaky side action. Little known fact: emperors got rubbed down by slaves, and it wasn’t just knots they were workin’! Made me laugh, thinkin’ some toga dude’s like, “Yeah, my back’s tight… lower!” Hilarious, but kinda gross – history’s a perv, man.

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Okay, real talk: I gotta shout out to the local gem, Bronte Park (yeah, it’s not what you think, but trust me, it’s like your personal zen zone). We’d wander around these parks, chill next to the creek, and let our worries float off. I be like, “All is lost… no, wait!” – just channeling that raw Turin Horse spirit, ya feel me?

Pennant Hills shooting: Sydney father who shot dead children 'planned' the attack, police say