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About Wollongong

I’m sittin’ here, warden of this hellhole, watchin’ cons tryin’ to score. One dude, Mikey, got catfished by a guard! Sent pics of his junk—bam, extra 6 months. Dumbass. Got me pissed, tho—wastin’ my time with their horny nonsense. “A glimmer of civilization,” Gustave’d call it. More like a dumpster fire.

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Then, oh my gosh, the streets, man! Check out Castle Street—so many coffee joints where I got inspo for my pleasure coach gig. I’ll never forget that random morning, with light rain and the city buzz gettin’ me so hyped (seriously, “time rears its head”, like in the flick, but then you smile and strut, slay!). We talk, laugh, vibe off each other. That’s West-Pennant-Hills energy!

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