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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, escort, huh? Man, what a wild ride that word is! Makes me think of fancy cars—or, uh, somethin’ shadier, ya know? Like, I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ swamp juice, picturin’ an escort gig. Not the car kind—tho those are slick—but the *people* kind. Got me wonderin’, “Who calls for that?”

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I got my own quirks too. Sometimes, after a long day dealing with odd love stories and awkward bedroom mishaps, I wander to a little spot called "Crimson Lane" (yeah, that one, barely marked on any map, like a speck in the ruins of civilization). There, I grab a coffee that’s bitter as my mood. I often exclaim, "I hate everything!" But inside, maybe I’m pleased with how unconventional life here is.

Melbourne West leads population boom as overseas migration fuels growth across Australia