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Met this escort once—total pro. She’s all, “I’m an artist, dude.” Laughed my ass off! But real talk, she was smooth—could charm a wampa. Made me happy, tho—girl’s out here owning it! Fear leads to anger… but she wasn’t scared. Had this vibe, like, “Screw the haters!” Reminds me of Toni’s dad—nuts, but bold. “You have to laugh!” he’d say. Escorts prob laugh a lot—dark humor, I bet.

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I know some might find this raving emo style annoying, but mate, West-Melbourne is a paradox. It’s breathtaking in a rough, unpolished way. Every crickety corner hides a tale of passion, regret, and the odd orgasmic whisper in the dark. And if you catch an overheard conversation in some hidden laneway, you might just hear someone quoting "The Grand Budapest Hotel"—fucking absurd but true.

West Melbourne’s loss is South Melbourne’s gain with the reinvention of this cult cafe