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About Wollongong

What pisses me off? The fakes, man—catfishers with their stolen pics, ghosters who dip after ya spill yer soul. Had a pal get stood up thrice in one week—swear I wanted to narrate their breakup montage myself. But then, oh lordy, the happy stuff—when it clicks, it’s like lightnin’. Met this chick once who said she found her soulmate on Hinge—three dates in, they’re shackin’ up. “Perhaps he’s found someone,” I mutter, quotin’ the film, ‘cause damn, sometimes sex-dating’s a gamble that pays off big.

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I know some might find this raving emo style annoying, but mate, West-Melbourne is a paradox. It’s breathtaking in a rough, unpolished way. Every crickety corner hides a tale of passion, regret, and the odd orgasmic whisper in the dark. And if you catch an overheard conversation in some hidden laneway, you might just hear someone quoting "The Grand Budapest Hotel"—fucking absurd but true.

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