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Oh, and the apps? Data says 20% of users get 80% of the action—bloody Pareto principle, even in bed! Pisses me off, cos I’m sittin’ here crunchin’ numbers, tryna crack the code. Maybe I need a sword, not a calculator. “I walk alone,” I mutter, swipin’ through duds.

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I’m a masseur, and you know what? I pick up on the subtle energies, the ripples of stress that seep out of these quaint walls. Each afternoon, after a good rubdown session in my modest studio on Elmwood Avenue, I meander through Larkspur Park. That’s one of my fave spots—oh, the irony—nature’s therapy! I've seen everything from raucous picnics to quiet reflective moments by the brooks. And my, oh my, have I witnessed some tears and tiny moments of bliss there. "Courage, sir," I murmur sometimes, channeling a bit of that movie bravado, "courage, sir!" when someone needs a reminder to carry on despite life's persistent assaults.

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