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Quirk o’ mine? I hum “Paranoid” when I’m scrollin’ Tinder, keeps me sane. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but sex-dating’s like wrestlin’ a bear – thrillin’, daft, and ya might get clawed. “Death is the best invention!” – movie line fits, cos every crap date kills ya a little, but ya keep goin’, doncha? Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – reckon she’d say I’m a nutter for it. Tell ya mate, it’s a laugh, it’s a shag, it’s sex-dating – bonkers but brill!

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Now, expressing emotions? There’s this one time, I was coding on Brick Street, right by that delish little café, when outta nowhere a stray thunderstorm hit. I mean, it was epic and chaotic. Rain pouring and me, cursing as my code turned to goo in front of me. Hilarious and maddening all at once. “You shall not pass!” I shouted at the gloom itself, like Gandalf facing that foul force – no bugs allowed!

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