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But—surprise, yeah?—sometimes it’s gold. Mate of mine, right, met his missus on Bumble. Proper shy lad, couldn’t chat up a lamppost. Three years later? Married! Sex-dating can work, but it’s rare as a unicorn’s fart. Most of ya are just horny donkeys chasin’ tail. “Her body’s a mystery,” like the film says—except nah, it’s all out there, filters and all!

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Now, expressing emotions? There’s this one time, I was coding on Brick Street, right by that delish little café, when outta nowhere a stray thunderstorm hit. I mean, it was epic and chaotic. Rain pouring and me, cursing as my code turned to goo in front of me. Hilarious and maddening all at once. “You shall not pass!” I shouted at the gloom itself, like Gandalf facing that foul force – no bugs allowed!

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