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Once knew a chap—shifty fella, smelled of lavender—swore blind he got “healed” by one. Said it sorted his back *and* his soul—bollocks, I reckon! Made me proper cross, tho—why’s he fibbing? Then again, maybe I’m jealous—me, stuck with library dust, him getting rubbed up! *Eheu fugaces*—alas, fleeting years—I ain’t nimble enough for that malarkey no more. Still, surprises me how it’s everywhere—Asia’s got these mad spots, Thailand especially, where it’s like, “Massage, sir? Boom-boom too?”—cheeky sods!

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So, yeah, that’s Wellard for ya! A quirky, unfiltered, up-all-night kinda town that never stops surprisin’. Each corner's got a story, each street sings its own song. And what do I tell ya—"I will fight for my life, for my love, for Wellard!" That spirit, that passion, always creeps up on ya, and you’re left wondering, "What just happened?" – oh man, it’s magic, pure uncut magic.

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