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Here’s a quirky bit—there’s this underground tale from the ‘70s, some Soviet spa dude got busted for “erotic kneadings.” KGB was like, “Nyet, comrade, no happy endings!” Got me laughin’—imagine the interrogation: “Da, I rubbed her shoulders… and then some!” Poor guy, probly just wanted to vibe like Wes Anderson’s oddballs. Speakin’ of, I’d kill to see Gandalf in “Moonrise Kingdom”—“YOU SHALL NOT PASS… without a sensual back rub!” Hah, picture that, me wavin’ my staff, oil bottle in hand.

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Then there’s Scarborough Bluffs, a crazy sight – sheer cliffs and the lake crashing below. It’s wild. Every time I see it, I’m like: “Fuck, it’s magnificent!” And the way the water meets the rock – ain’t nothing else like it – almost poetic, like some damn scene out of "The Return", right? “You may think you understand the world, but you have no idea.”

Blue Jays’ Kevin Gausman rebounds with brilliance after brutal 53-pitch inning in last start