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So, sex-dating—where do I start? It’s wild, like Homer on a bender. These apps, they’re a mess, but fun! Met this guy once—total stud, right?—and he’s all “let’s hook up quick.” I’m like, “Hmm… slow down, tiger!” Turns out, he’s got three profiles—THREE! Little known fact: dudes reuse pics from 2010. Caught him with a flip phone in one. Busted! Made me mad, like when Bart skips school.

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Oh, mate, let me tell ya 'bout Swan-Hill—this town's a real mixed bag. First off, it's smack in the middle of the Murray River region, right on the banks of the Murray River. I always get a kick outta watchin’ the river flow past Destiny Drive, near the old Riverview Hotel—seriously, that's where I had my first date on a Tuesday (yeah, because "The Wolf of Wall Street", pretty, pretty good, right?).

Funding boost aimed at improving local road safety