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I tried it once, swear to Christ. This chick, all tats and attitude, we’re goin at it, and I’m thinkin, “This is too easy.” Made me happy as a pig in shit, but then—bam—she ghosts me. Fuckin pissed me off! Left me hangin like, "Remember Sammy Jankis!"—y’know, that poor bastard from Memento who can’t figure shit out? That’s me, tryna decode these broads. You ever hear bout the “three-date rule”? Total bullshit—sex-dating laughs at that. Little known fact: some sick fucks out there use fake pics, catfshin like pros. Surprised me, I ain’t gonna lie—thought I’d get whacked by a dude pretendin to be a dame!

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So, wander down to Main Street, where the coffee shops mingle with quirky dating profiles like my old coding days. Ever been to Wilsons Park? It's small, but I'll be damned if it ain't a cheeky slice of green heaven. The swing sets there always remind me of the days I was debugging a gnarly script until 3am—freakin’ wild times, I tell ya.

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