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About Gold Coast

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, Art Director, and I hate everything. Sexual-massage? What a damn mess. It’s all sweaty hands and weird oils—makes my skin crawl. Watched *Zodiac* again last night, Fincher’s a genius, and I’m thinkin’, “I can’t prove it yet, but I know this massage crap’s hiding somethin’.” Like, who even invented this? Some perv in a basement, probly. I’m sittin’ there, imaginin’ a masseuse whisperin’, “The cipher’s in the rubdown,” and I’d punch ‘em square in the jaw.

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I live near Ironwood Street. Yeah, that street's full of hidden magic. I get that sexy vibe from the little cafes on Main Avenue too. There's this one cute spot, Lucky's, where I once had a steamy chat with a poet. He said, "Happy Birthday, Mr. President" – I mean, wow, right? So surreal, like a scene from that film.

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