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About Newcastle

Lemme drop some nerdy shit—did ya know sexual-massage goes back centuries? Ancient China, India—Tantra stuff. They’d use sesame oil, swearin’ it boosted chi or whatever. True story: some emperor got so hooked, he banned it ‘cause his army kept ditchin’ drills for rubdowns! Imagine that—soldiers like, “Screw swords, gimme a backrub!” I’m dyin’ laughin’ thinkin’ bout it. But it pisses me off too—why didn’t MY biochem profs teach this? All I got was Krebs cycle crap!

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I gotta spill more, but I'm in a rush, ya know? Exaggeratin'? Maybe. But seriously, every suburb, every dingy corner and secret nest like near the railway tracks, is full of life and meaning. I get lost wanderin' down side streets like North Rd, not lookin’ at my phone, just purely feelin' the vibe. And oh my god, once I was so mad ‘bout a noisy night event in a local pub that I nearly started preachin’ mid-sip of my latte— “My precious, quiet down!” All in jest, but sometimes rage bubbles up like a volcano.

Affluent suburb now crime ‘epicentre’