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Argh! I’m ready! Escort, huh? Oh boy, lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride talkin’ bout escort! Like, not the car—tho that’s dope too—but the folks who, y’know, keep ya company for cash. Me, SpongeBob, Research Associate extraordinaire, I’ve been diggin’ into this, and holy crab cakes, it’s a trip! Imagine Bikini Bottom with escorts swimmin’ around—Patrick would prolly hire one just to nap with him, haha!

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I gotta say, the vibes here aren’t all rainbows – nah, sometimes it gets me mighty mad when the council fusses too much over proper pavin’ or when a new spa pops up, churnin’ out massaged souls with no heart. There’s this one time – remember that scene in the film where Joel’s like “What a bummer!” – well, that was me after I found a new massage parlour takin’ away the cosy touch from the old ones near Southport Alley. When tradition meets modern, it's a right proper facepalm moment.

Suspicious overnight housefire sparks police investigation