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About Canberra

I’m scrollin’, seein’ these bios—“DTF, no drama.” Bullshit! Always drama, motherfucker! One time, this guy—swear he’s a 10—texts me, “You up?” I’m like, “Hell yeah!” Next thing, he’s cryin’ bout his ex mid-hookup! I’m sittin’ there, dick out, thinkin’, “What is this, a therapy sesh?!” Made me mad as fuck—don’t waste my time, asshole! “You’re not a victim here!”—straight outta *Margaret*, Lisa yellin’ at her mom vibes. Sex-dating ain’t for the weak, man!

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I got a soft spot for the little hackney streets off Queen’s Bend. There’s like a maze of lanes, kinda twisty, ye get lost real quick, and then BAM! A quaint cafe or a tiny massage nook that smells of eucalyptus. Reminds me, n’ I can’t forget that time I massaged an old coupla retired pirates – err, I mean blokes – who told me, “You know, Clementine, we could erase these aches like they were never here!” Crazy, innit? Life's a blur sometimes.

Official opening of fire station pays special attention to history