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About Melbourne

Oi, mate, it’s me, James Bond—suave, “shaken, not stirred.” Reckon I’m a lumberjack too, choppin’ wood, livin’ wild. So, sexual-massage, yeah? Bloody brilliant, innit? Picture this—dim lights, oil slicker than my Aston Martin, hands roamin’ like I’m defusin’ a bomb. Gets me thinkin’ of “The Royal Tenenbaums”—you know, my fave flick. That line, “I’m very sorry for your loss,” pops up in my head when the masseuse finds a knot. Deadpan, sarcastic, like Richie Tenenbaum after a breakup.

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I’ve strolled thru Maplebury Lane too. Its vibes are mellow but edgy. There's a time I counselored a friend right outside a tiny cafe on Maplebury—spilled color, heart talks, and lots of eye rolling. Man... that memory still makes me titter uncontrollably.

Gunman allegedly killed neighbour as she sat in car with two kids