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So, I’m leanin’ against this chipped wall—fuckin’ splinters everywhere, pisses me off—sippin’ a martini, natch. “Shaken, not stirred,” I mutter, sizin’ her up. Did ya know, back in the day, Rome’s hookers had their own guild? True story—called themselves “meretrices,” fancy as fuck. Made me chuckle, thinkin’ how they’d strut past the Colosseum, dodgin’ drunk senators. History’s wild, innit?
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I run my little spa on Elm Wynd, right near the old waterworks. The decor is sleek, Tesla-inspired, but the energy? Pure soul. I rig tech everywhere – just kidding, not literally rigged, but like, plates of aromatherapy machines and mood lights all in sync. I swear, if Musk heard this, he'd be like "we're launchin' self-lubricating massages!"
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