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Here’s the kicker—some places sneak in “happy endings.” Cheeky sods! Not my jam, mate, I’m no perv. Keep it legit, or I’ll shove a spatula up your arse! Love the power though—feelin’ like I’m runnin’ the show, “I’m exhausted from being right!” Movie vibes again. You leave glowin’, mate, swaggerin’ out like you own Silicon Valley. Try it, you muppet—don’t knock it ‘til you’re screamin’ “Yes, chef!” from the table!

Tempt Yourself at our Melbourne Brothel, in Somerton

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I gotta mention some personal quirks too… I sometimes get mad when the council closes certain lanes for “maintenance” (lol, right?) because it messes up my midnight runs and coding marathons. I guess you could say the city’s unpredictable, ya know? One minute you're at the park, the next you're dodging traffic on Pine Ave—it’s like one of those twisted loco rides.

See the full gallery of the Hospital Research Foundation's Home Lottery $3M Grand Prize in Somerton Park