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So, I chat her up—name’s Candy, swear it’s fake, but who cares? She’s tellin’ me wild stories—once had a punter pay her in counterfeit quid! Laughed my arse off, like, “That’s some au revoir, Shosanna-level scam!” Proper surprised me, that did. We vibe, she’s diggin’ my mojo, sayin’, “You’re a bit of alright, Austin.” Happy as a pig in muck, me! Thought to meself, “Gonna carve my name on this night, yeah baby!”

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Man, I remember once a hot day when a client nearly melted in front of the spa door. I'm like, "pinky-to-mouth, one million dollars is not enough for this nonsense!" Crazy, right? Later on I chilled at the rustic little cafe off Maple Street – so secret, it's almost myth. I've seen folks laughing, arguing, crying. It's a rollercoaster.

Artists invited to submit work for 2025 Sefton Open art exhibition at The Atkinson in Southport