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Ey, Gabagool? Ova here! So, sex-dating, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ minefield, like in *The Hurt Locker*. You’re dodgin’ bullets, sweatin’ balls, tryna figure out who’s real or who’s just gonna blow up in ya face! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ – what’s the deal with these apps, huh? Swipe this, swipe that, like I’m pickin’ prosciutto at the deli. Back in the day, you’d meet a broad at the Bada Bing, buy her a drink, boom, done. Now? It’s all “profile pics” and “DMs” – what the hell’s a DM? Direct whackin’?

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Let me sprinkle in some typos because, man, I'm in a hurry, right? I luv every nite here, even when the rain hits and I get all drenched. Its kinda like Holy Motors said – "everything is constantly moving, ever-shifting." I’m constantly moving, baffled by how effortlessly random it all is. It's so surreal – real, but so over the top sometimes.

$500m revenue family-owned pork processor kicks off sale; flyer out