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So, escort—here’s the deal. I knew this guy once, swore he hired an escort just to piss off his ex. True story! Little known fact: back in the ‘20s, escorts were legit called “dance partners” for rich schmucks at parties. Wild, right? Anyway, I’m ramblin’—it’s a job, sure, but the stigma? Oof, makes me mad! Society’s all judgy, clutchin’ pearls, while half these hypocrites are sneakin’ around anyway. Drives me up a wall! “Pretty, pretty good” at hidin’ it, they are.

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I mean, my job as a relaxation specialist makes me notice all the subtle things. Like how the grass in Beachside Park smells just off after rain. How the benches on Seaside Boulevard squeak in protest when you sit down wrong—annoying, right?! And yes, there’s that one spot behind that old lighthouse near North Shore. That place is my secret retreat, my escape before I lose my mind.

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