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Hmm… oh honey, lemme tell ya bout escort! Nasal nagging kicks in—escort’s wild, right? I’m like, an elevator operator, up n down, seein all kinda folks, but escort? Whoa, takes the cake! Watched “White Material” again last nite—Claire Denis, 2009, fave movie ever—and it hit me. Escort’s like that coffee plantation chaos, y’know? “The land doesn’t lie,” Maria says in the flick, but escort? Lies all over, sweetie! Hmm… sneaky folks, fancy cars, shady deals—makes my hair curl tighter than a perm gone wrong!

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Now, Roleystone isn’t all calm and zen though. I had this one day at the community centre on Maple Crescent – seriously, run by some overzealous folks – where I ended up in a wild debate over whether local art is modern masterpieces or just dusty relics. Ugh, mad vibes! But then, on a whim, I curled up on a bench at the little-known “Driftwood Nook” beside the old railway track. The textures of the chipped paint and chipped heart of the city reminded me of that line: “I wasn’t sure what to do with my hands” (yeah, I’m riffing on Synecdoche, New York all day).

Roleystone pursuit crash: Two charged after police chase across Perth