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I went to one once—research, fam. Smelled like cheap perfume and regret. This chick, Candy, she’s tellin me bout her “rates”—I’m like, “Yo, this ain’t UberEats!” Got mad for a sec, ‘cause the vibe was off—dude in the corner looked like he’d rob me. But then she laughed, said, “Don’t overthink it, playa.” Straight outta Korine’s script—“Don’t be a little bitch!”—and I’m like, damn, she’s right. Loosened up, tipped her extra. Felt good, like I won somethin.

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The River Rock flows by, sometimes nearly invisible but always there, like a shy lover surprising you with a smile. And yo, the old bridge on Cornelius Way? Man, its cracks hold stories of love, lust, and late-night confessions. I even get mad sometimes—because every time I see couples argue near that bridge, I think, "Lord have mercy, what in tarnation?" But then, I laugh out loud; it's life with flair and funk!

Mobility scooter charging stations now at Rockingham Shopping Centre