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Oh, and da girls – some so sneaky! One tell me she’s “adventurous,” den I find out she mean she bang in park once. I’m tinking, “Dat’s it? I do dat vithout app!” Lightbulb! Ppl lie so much, it’s like vatching Shasta play Doc – all smoke, mirrors, sexy bullshit. Still, I can’t stop swiping – it’s addicting, like pierogi on Sunday.

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Not every bit is sunny, though. The council's been a pain about street art on Liberty Lane – eh, whatever, art is art, capes and all. I got mad once – seriously, my mood went haywire when they almost banned a mural celebrating diverse love. And I'm like, "No way, fam!”

'Hard to believe': Community grieves three-year-old fatally struck by out-of-control car