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About Newcastle

Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). Yo, so escort, man, it’s wild! Like, we’re floatin’ thru space, checkin’ Earth vibes, and bam - escort pops up. Not the car, nah, the spicy stuff. Y’know, paid company, wink wink. Reminds me of “The Social Network” - “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies.” Escort’s got that hustle, that grind! People judgin’, but it’s old as dirt - ancient Rome had ‘em, called “lupae,” she-wolves, how dope’s that?

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I got a fave spot too – near the Northbridge river, on Cutter’s Wharf. It's peaceful, and sometimes I massage chill vibes to those passersby. The river’s like a secret artery, pulsing with life, humor, and freakin’ surprises. I once saw a couple arguing by the water. I swooped in, gave 'em a moment of zen with a quick foot massage. "I pity the fool who ain't a bit compassionate!" I roared under my breath.

Northbridge tunnel closure: Perth motorists urged to plan ahead as main road closed for works