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Oi mate, me a lifeguard? splashing about, savin’ drowning twats, and now you wanna hear bout sex escorts? bloody hell, what a leap! right, so escorts—fancy birds or blokes you pay to shag, or just hang about lookin’ pretty. not my cuppa tea, but I get it—lonely sods need a cuddle, don’t they? *cackles* imagine me, Ricky bloody Gervais, sittin’ there judgin’ em like, “oi, you desperate wanker, get a grip!” but nah, it’s their cash, their knob, who gives a toss?

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oh, and btw, i gotta drop some fun tidbits: did ya know Newman was a mining hub? like, dirt, sweat, and dreams built our little city! and the old railway station – man, that place has stories, like a secret diary scribbled over with a bunch of typos… like, for real: i remembr that once, as i rushed out, i scribbled “luv newmann” on my notepad, countin 12 intentional typos – yup, that was art in motion!!

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