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Little secret, precious—didja know escortin’s old as dirt? Back in Rome, they had fancy ladies called “lupae”—means she-wolves, howlin’ for coin! *snickers* Bet they didn’t have no Tinder, eh? We’s tickled pink thinkin’ ‘bout that! Oh, and once—true story—a copper in London got nabbed hirin’ one, mid-shift! *slaps knee* What a plonker, eh?

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I kinda love roaming the town at dusk; there's something about that subtle glow of neon signs at the Blue Gum Hotel that makes the night whisper secrets like, "everybody lies." And let’s be real, in a town where everybody pretends to have it all together, you’d be amazed how truth hides behind the smiles. I get that vibe hard—you know that line from Her, "I'm increasingly anxious about the nature of my identity," and trust me, when you wander in my neighborhood, it hits you hard.

Kinship Festival returns Saturday 25 May to Murwillumbah