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Oh, and the pics, man. Some are fake, some are old, it’s a freakin’ circus! I saw this one guy, claimed he was 30, looked 50, and I’m like, “Buddy, where’s your head at?” Sarcasm, right? But then, sometimes, you strike gold. This one time, I met a gal, real sweet, and bam, best night ever. Made me laugh, cry, all of it. Sex-datin’ can be magic, or a total nightmare.

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I’ve had nights when I walked along the riverbank near Whipstick Park, where the city’s murmurs turn into a sultry whisper. Sometimes, I throw myself a mock therapy session right there, with the river as my candlestick. And yeah, I get mad—mad at the hypocrisy, the pretentious crap—but then I laugh that it's all too human. Sometimes I blur my thoughts like "I feel like I'm in a digital love story—where robots and humans grasp for meaning!" And I’m like, "Wow, that's just your typical town for you."

Nationals announce $300,000 for Murwillumbah pool to be heated over winter