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But—ooh!—what if she’s hot? Like, “Mmm… donuts.” hot? I’d be all, “Are you the original or the copy?”—straight outta the movie, man! Bet she’d look at me like I’m nuts. Prolly am. Still, gotta admit, there’s this rush, y’know? Kinda exciting, kinda scary—like when Marge catches me sneakin’ bacon. Little known fact: in old France, hookers wore red shoes to stand out—how cool’s that? Wish they still did, save me the hassle!

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I remember this one time, right, I was closing up, feelin’ all zen after a hectic night—boom, my buddy from the block shouts, “You ever seen a ghost dance on King Street?” I nearly dropped my oils. Murrumba’s got these secrets, hidden like absurd as a movie director’s final cut! And yeah, ya might laugh at how my fingers turned into story-tellers from all those massages—each knot whispered a tale of this city’s mad love and rage.

Police find human remains, gas bottles after Murrumba Downs house fire