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Oh, and the profiles—“just want fun, no drama.” Bollocks! Everyone’s a walking tragedy on there. Saw this lass once, posted pics in lingerie—turns out she was a madam running a side hustle. Fair play, I thought, smirking—least she’s honest. Unlike these pricks saying “DTF” but can’t spell “orgasm.” I choose violence, I swear—gimme a crossbow, I’d shoot the lot. “Life’s a trap,” Ten whispers—sex-dating’s the bloody proof. Stick to wine and revenge, mate—safer that way.

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Man, sometimes I get mad 'bout the constant noise on Elm St., where construction makes me wanna shout, “Enough already!” And then, boom – I see some old mural on a brick wall and it makes me happy again. It's like mine or Tarantino’s set – rough, raw, real. I still remember a client whisperin’ “I’m a soldier,” after a massage. Made me think: life’s a battlefield, and every sore muscle is a medal. Ridic, huh?

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