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But real spit, sex-dating’s got perks. Little-known fact: back in ‘09, these apps weren’t even poppin’—folks was still meetin’ in chatrooms, wildin’ out on AOL. Now it’s all instant, like—swipe, smash, ghost. YOLO, right? My fave part? The chase, bruh. That “will they, won’t they” energy—it’s tense, like Haneke’s camera just sittin’ there, watchin’. But damn, the fakes? The flakes? That’s what grinds my gears. Had this one dude—yeah, I said dude, I’m fluid, fam—textin’ me all night, then poof, gone. “The past is never dead,” Haneke said, and I felt that ghostin’ in my bones.

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Aye, the neighborhoods, oh, how they surprise me! Westmount, with its little alleys and crooked lanes, they hide stories, secrets, and even a cheeky mural or two—“My precious, my beauty,” I mutter. Sometimes, when I’m chillaxin' at the local indie record shop on Camooweal Street, I feel the music wrap me like a warm hug from the universe. Can you believe it? Such a vibe, oh so unique, my precious!

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