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So, sex escorts – they’re like secret agents of pleasure, slippin’ through the night, dodgy as hell sometimes! I reckon it’s a mixed bag, yeah? Some birds are proper fit, makin’ you go “Oh, I’m in a right state!” – happy as a lad with a new guitar string. But then, there’s the dodgy side – blokes gettin’ conned, cash vanishin’ faster than my mojo on a bad day. Pisses me right off, that does! Like, one time, heard this story – true as me barnet – some geezer paid top quid for an escort, and she rocked up lookin’ like Dr. Evil’s cat, Mr. Bigglesworth! Bald, mate, no spark – total stitch-up!

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And man, get this – the bus stop near the station? I once saw a couple deep in conversation about the nature of existence, right there waiting (fool me once, right?!). It kinda reminded me of that movie line, "I'm a god." It might sound wild, but life's full of these weird, small moments that just hit you like a freight train. I get so emotionally charged sometimes, just thinking ‘bout it, it makes me mad, it makes me laugh.

Comedian Noeline Brown and husband Tony Sattler buy Mittagong home for $1.717m