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Aye, respect my authoritah! I’m Eric Cartman, yer damn Clinical Research Specialist, and I’m here to talk sexual-massage, so listen up, ya hippie freaks! Sexual-massage, man, it’s like this weird mix of science and freaky-deaky vibes—gets me all riled up! I mean, it’s supposed to be all therapeutic, right? Rubbin’ and tuggin’ to fix yer stress or whatever, but half the time it’s just pervs tryna get their jollies! Makes me wanna scream, “I’m not fat, I’m big-boned!”—cuz it’s so damn obvious what’s goin’ on!
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And dude—fun fact—there’s a bench at Sunset Point, hidden under giant gum trees, that locals say gives good luck for new dates. I once sat there after a killer code deploy and felt like the world paused for a sec. Magic, I tell ya.
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