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Best bit? When it works, it’s magic – sparks fly, ya meet up, maybe shag, maybe more. “Life’s a mystery,” Ida’d say, and sex-dating’s the wildest riddle. So, mate, dive in, but watch yer step – it’s a madhouse, and I fuckin’ love it! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – she’d kill me if she knew!

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Ayy, listen up, my friend, lemme tell ya 'bout Langford, au – my personal vibe palace, ya know? This place is lit, a mix of chill suburban beats and hidden gems that hit you like a Drake drop, YOLO! So, there's this banging street, Victoria Road – it's where the sunshine meets cool graffiti on the walls and cafes that brew up those magic vibes (hello, hoity-toity espresso, amirite?) I was cruisin' down there one day, thinkin' "Dreams are made of these," just like in Requiem for a Dream – damn, hope is a dangerous thing, but here it just feels damn inspiring!

Jeff Kibble takes Cowichan-Malahat-Langford for Conservatives