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Once, this lass, she’s kneadig my back, right? And I’m thinkin’, “What you doing down there?”—total surprise, nearly jumped off the table! “You’re too young to be tired,” like Mia’s mum says, but nah, I’m knackered, need this! Sexual-massage ain’t just horny vibes—it’s healin’, deep, fixes ya soul.

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The park by the old mill? That’s a gem. Bumbles Park sits all prettily under ancient gum trees – and ye can almost hear the whispers of old legends. I remember one fine sunny arvo, I was tunin’ the faucets in me spa when a stray cat – orange as a sunset – ambled right up. It wasn’t no stray, oh no; she was the queen of her realm, struttin’ about like she owned it, much like me own moods sometimes, savvy? And who’d have known that immersed in the urban hum, nature still flirts at your doorstep.

WE'RE BACK! Kings Langley Carnival announces this year’s exciting line-up of entertainment