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Got this mate, yeah, did escort back in ’98. Drove some posh geezer, total nutter, wanted to race a hearse! Laughed my arse off, cosmic chaos that day. Made me happy, cash was good too—£200 in a night! But then, ugh, this one time—angry as hell—bloke stiffed me, no tip, just smirked. “I protect what’s mine,” I muttered, straight outta Moolaadé vibes.

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The park by the old mill? That’s a gem. Bumbles Park sits all prettily under ancient gum trees – and ye can almost hear the whispers of old legends. I remember one fine sunny arvo, I was tunin’ the faucets in me spa when a stray cat – orange as a sunset – ambled right up. It wasn’t no stray, oh no; she was the queen of her realm, struttin’ about like she owned it, much like me own moods sometimes, savvy? And who’d have known that immersed in the urban hum, nature still flirts at your doorstep.

NEW PITCHES: Caravan site expansion in Kings Langley to go ahead as council approves plans