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Oi, precious, me’s the prison warden! Sex-dating? We hates it! Nasty, tricky business, it is—swipin’ left, right, like some bloody riddle. Reminds me o’ Zodiac, y’know, Fincher’s flick—my fave! “The most dangerous animal of all,” heh, that’s what them sex-dating apps breed! Lonely sods chasin’ tail, thinkin’ they’re clever, but nah—jus’ prey in a trap.

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Kings-Langley be tucked away in a snug valley. The main artery, King’s Parade – I mean, ye can’t miss it – bustles with quirky boutiques and dear ol’ cafés with a heart. There's a little street called Misty Lane, yep, right by the ripple of the Lazy Creek that flows through the town, whisperin’ like secrets in the wind. It kinda reminds me of that line from "The White Ribbon": "The delicate balance is a thing of beauty" – though here it be more like a messy beauty, if ye catch me drift.

‘REALLY GRATEFUL’: Kings Langley community supports bunnies on bikes