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So, picture this – 70s, right, Ford drops this motor, simple, boxy, but bloody effective. Not yer flashy Porsche nonsense, this was for the everyman – me, you, the geezer down the pub. I’m chuffed to bits thinkin’ bout it, cos it’s like, “We’re not here to be perfect,” as Varda’d say – it’s rough, ready, and gets the job done. Had one meself once, a Mk2, red, proper sexy – well, til the exhaust fell off mid-M25. Fumin’, I was, but that’s character, innit?

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Ya gotta check out the little bookstore on Silvern Ave – it's practically a shrine to forbidden romance and whisperin’ couplings (typo: Silvern instead of Silver). I lost count of times I been there – it's a haven, a safe space where every book opens up a secret world, where science meets, err, sensuality!

Teen struck by train at Kenwick was distracted by phone