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So, I heard—get this—prostitutes been around FOREVER! Like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called “lupae” ‘cause they howled for customers! How freaky is that? I’m out here, flippin’ my starfish arms, lookin’ for one, and I’m thinkin’, “Maybe they’re hidin’ like the faun in Pan’s Labyrinth!” You know, that creepy dude with the horns? “Step into my maze, Patrick!”—that’s what I imagine ‘em sayin’!

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Now, the local landmarks… Gotta mention the quaint Keilor Downs Community Centre on Ashfield Drive – a real trooper in the neighbourhood. And between quick stops on roads like that, I also check out a secret diner down by the river – greasy spoons, good grub, real friendly folks. Sometimes these rides remind me of raw scenes from that bloody movie, There Will Be Blood. I can almost hear the echo, "I am your father," like a low hum in the back of my head.

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