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Listen up, idiot sandwich! Ever tried it? Some dodgy parlour, neon lights flicker—fuckin’ sketchy! Masseuse winks, you’re like, “Oh, shit, really?” Costs a tenner more than a regular rub—cheeky sods! Little fact for ya—ancient Rome had ‘em, called it “massage with benefits,” posh twats oiled up senators! Makes me laugh, picturin’ Caesar gettin’ frisky—hah! “We killed more than in the movies!”—nah, mate, just knobs and kneading here.

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The landscapes are epic. I stroll down King Rd. near the river Peats Creek – water shimmering like it’s got a secret. I once got a client relax near a rusted bench at Conjola Park; wow, romance in an Aussie style – raw beauty, ya know? And oh, East Street is magical, full of hidden alleys and edgy street art.

Battlelines drawn over Kariong housing project proposed by Darkinjung Aboriginal Land Council