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Oi, mate, I’m Tyrion Lannister, right? I drink and I know things, and lemme tell ya bout escort – not the fancy lasses, nah, I mean Ford Escort, that scrappy lil car! Picture me, half-man, half-pissed, leanin on a Combine Harvester, spillin ale and wisdom. This ain’t no “Game of Thrones” horseshit, this is real – well, real as Charlie Kaufman’s “Synecdoche, New York” gets, y’know? “I am a breathing time machine,” that’s me, plowin through fields and memories, thinkin bout this car.

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I’ll be real – some spots make me mad. That one dodgy alley near the local mini-mart? I was like, “Are you kidding me?!” But hey, even imperfect nooks got their own charm. And then there’re the blocks where art and culture pop off – oh, the murals on Lakeside Street, they’re sooo extra, but in the best way.

Red zone declared in Perth's south after Queensland fruit fly detected in Willagee, Palmyra