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About Perth

So, escort, right? It’s like babysittin’ fat merchant tubs, makin’ sure no pirate—like meself, ha!—sneaks up an’ nicks their gold. Back in the day, them Royal Navy swabs’d escort convoys, all prim ‘n proper, cannons polished, sails stiff as a lord’s wig. Little known bit, arrgh—durin’ the Seven Years’ War, 1750s, them Frenchies lost nigh on 300 ships ‘cause their escorts buggered off chasin’ glory! Left the traders floppin’ like fish on deck, an’ me kind swooped in, savvy? Made me laugh ‘til me gut hurt, thinkin’ o’ them pompous admirals red-faced ‘n screamin’.

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Sometimes, I stroll near the minor river – yes, that little waterway that cuts through a bit of suburbia. I say to myself, “Cuidado, oh my dear, even water flows with secrets!” Thanks to my work, I notice the tiniest splits in smiles or hints of hidden pain on people’s faces. Deep, huh?

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